Aquarius

You try to look like an eccentric and rebellious person, some sort of prophet who would offer “the” truth. Actually, you so completely lack profundity that you do everything you can in order to compensate this flaw.

You are deeply aware of the fact that you are only one sheep among many others, but you just can’t accept this idea! Therefore, you desperately strive to stand out of the crowd, and you display your nonconformism, but sometimes the situation gets out of control, and you become a misfit, totally maladjusted to your environment. So, don’t complain that no one wants to be your friend! To you, friendship is a sacred value, but have you got an idea of what it actually is?

You are so deeply detached and impersonal (and yes, your apparent eccentricity compensates this) because you are too cerebral and you steer clear of intimate relationships and personal secrets. It is even worse when it comes to love relationships! Your chronic independence would hurt a great many partners… You claim to be generous and altruistic, but don’t you think that these values don’t belong to theories and should spring from the heart?

Stop believing that you are an inventive genius in the vanguard because otherwise, one of these days, you will end up in a psychiatric hospital…

The Aquarius loves a party. Anytime, anywhere is their motto. It is not unlikely that an Aquarius will consider a wake a good place to meet chicks.

Aquarians tend to be nostalgic about the 1960s because that was the last time they could be naked in public and get away with it. Aquarians love to be naked. It is even better if they are naked and crocked. 97.4% of the Night Train consumed in the past thirty years has been consumed by Aquarians. Almost every Aquarian will claim to have seen Jerry Garcia’s image in their Froot Loops at least once. Froot Loops is a very Aquarian cereal. So is Rice Krispies, since it will engage in a friendly chat with the Aquarian as he or she is eating breakfast.

Aquarians are the only people in the zodiac who can play volleyball with themselves. And they frequently do. Aquarians use the phrase “Dude, man…” frequently when describing philosophical concepts.

Aquarians have out-of-body experiences on a daily basis. If you are talking to an Aquarian and he or she zones out, consider the conversation hopeless. He or she is talking to the guy three feet away from you.

Aquarians are fun because they channel people. Plus, if you tell them to, they will run around naked. Aquarians like astronomy because they’ve been to all those places. If you want to know what the food is like on Saturn, ask an Aquarius. They can also walk on water if they try really really hard. This usually happens in the bathtub.

Aquarians can allow themselves every possible vice on the planet, and don’t think twice about it. That is why they piss everyone else off. They are cosmically entitled to do this. Most rock stars are Aquarians.

Share if Thou Wilt...Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Email this to someone
email