Leo

Watch out! Expect no praise, you who are so self-centered and so full of yourself! Being a Leo is far from flattering, contrary to what you might think. Besides, you are convinced that you are an exceptional person, whilst you are appallingly ridiculous because it is clear to everyone that you try hard to appear a much better person than what you really are.

Actually, you have a huge inferiority complex. You live only through other people because, deep down, you know that you are not worth much. You throw compliments at yourself, and then you don’t understand why others remain sceptical in your face.

Of course, you also behave like a little tyrant vis-à-vis your court of hypocrites without realizing that their flatteries totally lack sincerity. Clear-sightedness is not among your qualities, should you have any. You behave like a spoiled brat, despotic, self-absorbed, and bossy.

You will grab attention in any way you possibly can. Self-immolation is not out of the question. You like to kiss mirrors a lot. Genghis Khan was a Leo, and so is Barney the Dinosaur.

Leos will interrupt conversation to talk, and they will place themselves bodily in the way of someone who is trying to leave before the Leo is finished saying what he or she needs to say. All Leos want parades on their birthdays.

Leos never marry because no one is good enough for them. If they do marry, they keep their spouses locked under the bathroom sink. They need physical affection at all times; unfortunately, they can’t find any because everyone thinks they are irritating punks. This is why so many of the people arrested for necrophilia are Leos.

A Leo uses himself as an example of the Overman in order to describe philosophical concepts. Some Leos decide to be homosexual even if they aren’t, because they think this gives them shock value. It actually means that neither gender will want to hook up with them.

In actuality, anything besides a romantic evening with themselves is considered a step down for the Leo. Leos open doors by screaming at them. They expect their Clappers to applaud when they enter a room. Leos are said to resemble lions. This means that they are loud, have cleft upper lips and slimy noses.

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