Libra

Since it is the symbol of Libra, the very word “Balance” makes you feel sorry to be born under this sign. Having an ordinary object to represent your sign must not feel too flattering, indeed. In addition, you don’t know how to assert yourself. Because solitude is your phobia, you line up with people who are the strongest ones since you are convinced that they will not let you down. You don’t really have a private life. You live for others and according to what they think of you. You strive to please, which implies that you are hypocritical and hesitant about everything you say…

You probably constantly feel that you are on the razor’s edge: not a single word missing, or in excess, not a single mistake. Otherwise war will break out, and this… No need to add more! Your self-proclaimed artistic bent is nothing but vapidity and mawkishness. In truth, you are too intellectual and cold. A calculator with a charming smile is the description that fits you best.

You are oh-so-elegant and tasteful to the point of incurring nausea from loved ones. You are also bipolar as hell and can’t make a decision on your own. You usually consult your therapist or TV Guide.

Libras are trendy and malleable folks. They are funny because they will glom onto something they hated before if it suddenly becomes fashionable. Velour is not entirely lost upon these people.

Libras eat a lot of ethnic food from cultures they don’t understand. They single-handedly started the cappucino movement. Ask them why, and they will claim something unintelligible about solidarity. You constantly worry about what other people think. If you really paid any attention, maybe people would like you more.

Libras use quotes from David Mamet plays to describe philosophical concepts. Then they have those concepts engraved upon nice little wallet cards. They don’t eat fast food or have any clue where their trash goes. They have other people tie their expensive shoes. Only two Libras have ever been found in thrift stores. All of their bell-bottoms were color-coordinated to match their lamé turtlenecks. Libras are always on the cutting edge of what the rest of us think is absolute pretentious bulls**t. They have huge collections of CDs they’ve never even listened to.

Libras give to designer charities. Hollywood is full of Libras. You are the reason butterfly hairpins and parachute pants have made a comeback. Next on the list is those big jam shorts. You probably never threw out your old pair. Hang on to your Winger t-shirt too. Get a Libra as drunk as possible and he or she will still be able to explain the difference between café latté and café au lait. This is peculiar as the rest of us know that there is no difference at all.

Share if Thou Wilt...Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Email this to someone
email