Sagittarius

Don’t think that your good reputation will prevent us from making a complete list of your numerous flaws! Firstly, you claim to be a philosopher endowed with open-mindedness. Actually, it is only a way to escape everyday realities that you find boring. It is more accurate to say that you have no inner life.

Your interest in culture and spirituality is nothing but an interest, as we have mentioned already! Indeed, you have no reflection of your own. You stupidly repeat what you have read or heard, and you proudly think that you can appear to be a wise person who has an immense knowledge of the world. In addition, you never go very deep, and while you boastfully display your knowledge, you show no critical or analytical mind.

You are a real drought and you are restless, which translates into irritating fickleness, lack of stability, and no sense of commitment or loyalty… Lastly, you are unable to fulfil your promises. You exaggerate everything in order to impress your entourage (yes, you are proud, definitely), and you don’t have a clue what the word “tact” means. Many among you are just big petty-bourgeois…

Sagittarians are born adventurers. They like smashing spiders with their bare hands and trying to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night with the lights out. They would sooner sustain crippling injury than do anything the easy way.

Sagittarians love to entertain their friends, family, and total strangers. This often includes transvesticism. Nearly every Sagittarian was born into the wrong gender. Sagittarians are loud and have no social graces. They seek to offend.

Sagittarians usually have nicknames like Thunderpooper or Vomitus Maximus. Animals and small children love Sagittarians. This is unfortunate since adults usually hate them. However, Sagittarians make excellent circus freaks and vagrants.

Sagittarians use interpretive dance to describe philosophical concepts. Buttons and bumper stickers with rude sayings on them are a trademark of the Sagittarian. They throw food at expensive restaurants and ask lots of questions in the middle of church. Don’t ever bring a Sagittarius home to meet your parents.

A Sagittarius is always a better Madonna than Madonna. Men can pull off sequins, and women can pull off construction helmets. The Sagittarius is incapable of being unhip.

Born salespeople, overflowing with the gift of eloquence, they could sell a fur coat to King Kong in the middle of summer, convincing him of evening frost. Sadges never really grow up, choosing rather to spread their contagious optimism, like a nasty little virus. It’s amazing they still have friends.

Sagittarians are the most self involved and boorish people on earth. You actually think that the rest of us are interested in your extremely boring life. You speak before thinking which invokes gales of laughter but you don’t care because you think you are clever. You are extremely narcissistic, believing yourself to be flawless. You are overindulgent when it comes to anything pleasurable. Moderation is not in your vocabulary. Summary: Egocentric asshole. Everyone hates you.

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